Sex and babies, a la carte

Forgive me! I have taken too terribly long a hiatus since my last post. Mea culpa. I have no good excuse, except perhaps my adorable firstborn who has since arrived (and aged six months!). However, cute and distracting as he may be, he’s much too good a baby to truly keep me from updating. So, lack of motivation, procrastination, and excuses – be gone! I’m back, folks.

On the theme of babies, there was a picture (or a few, actually) that recently went viral, featuring an adoptive gay couple holding a newborn baby.

Gay Dads

My heart sank as soon as I saw it.

As a Catholic, I’ve long believed marriage to be created exclusively for one man and one woman. I’ve believed this sacred and holy institution, designed by God, to be the source of new life and the best environment for children to be raised – because kids deserve a mom & a dad, married for life.

But becoming a mom myself has shed an entirely new light on my perspectives. As I’ve experienced providing things that only a mother could for her child, and watching my husband do things only dads can do, my heart absolutely breaks for babies who are robbed of their right to having a mom and a dad. It’s unbelievable we even have to call such a thing a “right” as if something so natural – like walking on two feet, for instance – is even in question.

Children like this boy, born of a surrogate mother to by raised by two men, are made a commodity. These are not pitiful, unloved children who wouldn’t otherwise have a home, if not for such adoptive gay couples (a point often made by defenders of gay-parent adoption). This child was a product, manufactured.

God made it pretty simple for us to understand. Man and woman have complementary bodies and together they can partake in the creation of new life, which is absolutely incredible and a gift for which we should be so deeply thankful. But our society has manipulated this gift – deconstructed it, perverted it and destroyed it. Imagine you spent a lifetime creating the perfect gift for someone you loved, shopping every day for decades for every ideal part, spending hours, days, weeks, months, years piecing it together. You delivered it with care and sincere joy, to be able to share such a meaningful gift you had poured your heart into. Then you leave, and return later to find your gift disassembled, partly returned, partly mutilated, partly gone.

So we have done to our Lord. We are a sodomizing, divorcing, fornicating, contracepting, aborting, pornographing society. We order up God’s gift of sex and procreation as if we have an option of “fries with that.” Want sex but no baby? Want sex by yourself? Want sex with someone else, or a few someone elses? Want to make a baby on your own terms? Want to use your sperm? His sperm? Your egg? Her egg? Two eggs, three eggs, four eggs, eight? Want the baby in her belly, your belly, “his” belly? In bed or in a petri dish? Two moms? Three dads? No mom? No dad?

Why are we taking up such an insane creative license with what ought to be a completely natural phenomenon? In a culture of organic, green, free-range everything, why are we making the simple act of sex to make babies so fabricated? It scary to imagine how we could possibly further divert from our Creator’s natural order.

I am not discriminating against same-sex couples alone, here. The great thing about truth found in faith is that these realities are universal and any circumstance which doesn’t involve sex between a married man and woman to make a baby is not okay. IVF, surrogacy, egg donation, sperm donation – these are all artificial and therefore clearly point to their perversion of God’s natural law.

Every child deserves a mom & dad because he or she has a mom & dad. It takes an egg from a woman and sperm from a man to make a baby. Conception belongs not in a lab, but in conjugal love. This is basic stuff. Why aren’t we getting it?


4 thoughts on “Sex and babies, a la carte

  1. As a christian and a woman who deals with infertility I am so grateful for the power of knowledge that our Father in Heaven gives us. Our minds are so amazing! I believe that medical advancement when used is a righteous way are pleasing unto the Lord. For me, longing to be a mother is such a pure and righteous desire. Yet despite my pure intentions, I physically can not conceive a child. It’s hard for other women to understand who have not gone through the same thing. I see IVF as an answer to prayers. Although it is something that my husband and I can’t afford at the time, I find peace in knowing that there is that option out there for us.

    • Hey Julie – I can certainly understand your perspective. Granted, we were so blessed to have a baby ourselves and I know I’m not in your shoes, we know God’s Truth is universal. The problem with IVF is that it separates sex and procreation, which God designed to be unified. A child conceived through IVF is really made a commodity, no longer received as a gift from God but something produced. In IVF, many more persons are involved in the conception of a baby, from doctors to lab technicians, when the act should belong exclusively to a husband and wife and God. Every child is a gift, not a right and as much as so many couples who long to be parents struggle with conceiving a child, they are not entitled to create one by any means. Besides all this, IVF promotes the mass abortion of fertilized eggs, as most women and doctors opt for upwards of 10 eggs extracted and fertilized and only a few, at most implanted. In fact, I have never heard of an instance where only a single egg was extracted, fertilized and implanted through IVF in order to avoid such disposal of precious human life.

      I do pray God blesses you with the gift of children. And until then, that you may continue glorifying Him in offering a loving home to the babies without parents to care for them. You’re giving them an amazing, selfless gift that really does inspire me (as we’re struggling to become foster parents ourselves).

  2. All children, however they come into this world, deserve to be well cared for and loved. I hope we all pray for them…
    I do share your concerns about all this technology, but I think it can be used in some circumstances to help people like Julie.
    That photo does seem weird to me, and I share your concerns for the well-being of that beautiful newborn baby. We all need to pray for him, and hope he will have the care and love he needs.

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